Suddenly the seat belt sign flashed on, and the pilot told everyone to get back to their seats because turbulence was pretty bad. It started off with a few shakes, and my tummy began to hurt. But i just told myself to calm down and everything would be alright. All of a sudden, the plane felt like it dropped. It kept going up and down, leaving us all in shock.
The thing first and foremost that popped into my head was ‘Is my mother pleased with me? My dad? If i die, what will my destination be? Was I a good daughter? What will my brothers do? My best friend, how would it be like for her?’
My thoughts just went on, as i found tears to pour faster and faster down my cheeks. Alhamdulilah. My sister began reciting ‘La illah illa Allah, la illah illa Allah’ She made me recite it with her, and subhanAllah, for the first time, i felt that ‘verily with the remembrance of Allah, do our hearts find ease.’ My heart went into total tama’ninah mode, it was really just amazing wa lilahi alhamd. (ok my sis wasn’t crying, she was pretty calm lol, but i had to add that dramatic affect 🙂 )
As i looked out the window, and I just heard a lecture by shaykh Waleed B. talking about the power of duaa. I looked out to the sky, and realized why travellers have their prayers answered. Traveling is a test, its a journey, and its hard.
What was hurting me more, and making my tears shed faster, was not the shallow fact that ‘omg, I might die’ It was the fact that I was on a plane, with I don’t know how many people, and if we all died, how many of them would be muslim, and upon the true path. That just hurt me subhanAllah. My sister and I, are sitting here, reciting the Oneness of Allah, while the lady next to us, is watching Twilight. SubhanAllah its so heartbreaking.
Alhamdulilah, the turbulence lasted 10mins, and it was all gone, but the affect and that shock will last in my memories forever. A lesson I learnt, we are never ready to die. I just saw my whole life pass infront of me. What did i leave behind, what am i going to say to my Lord, what was my excuse, did i spread the deen the way i should, or did i waste my time?
Afterwards, i pressed play on my iPod knowing some Quran would calm me down. The second i press play i hear these ayahs (and man when your in an eman rush lol anything will shake your heart)
6. On the Day (when the first blowing of the Trumpet is blown), the earth and the mountains will shake violently (and everybody will die),
Pretty scary subhanAllah, made me cry a bit more :P.
Sigh, what hit me is, this life is a bumpy ride. Our eman at times is so high, and at times so low. We live life as if on a roller coaster. But why can’t we live in that constant high off eman. I may die any second now. Wallahi we would be so pure. But its hard and yes i know. Life is a test, and that is why if we do good, we are rewarded with the best of the best, of the best. I can’t even explain.
Anyhoo, i had a point–i was talking to my friend, and told her the incident. She was like what did you learn? How did you feel? and she told me to write down my reflections and send it to myself and star it. This is a good reminder, we always say ‘oh remember death and remember this and that’.
But for me how can i ever imagine death, if i wasn’t ever near it, or saw it, or felt it.
My friend said to me:
call to prayer goes off = think of it as the horn on the last day
when everyone gathers to pray= it is gathering on the plane of hashr
standing and waiting for prayer = waiting to be judged/held account by Allah [Ref: sis]
So random reflections thought i would share, now i feel like i have to make each moment worth it, so when the angel of death is told to come to my town, and take my soul, will i regret my few years of living on this earth?
Alhamdulilah 3ala kul haal 🙂