One More Time


SubhanAllah, the first day of Eid one of my high school classmates passed away suddenly. And this morning i woke up to hear the news of my 2nd cousin passing away. I feel like all my posts are about death, but the only thing that really gets me thinking is death..

Death – the destroyer of pleasures.

These past two days I’ve heard of around 5 deaths subhanAllah, and it makes me think of how this life is nothing. This dunya is just a couple of passing days, and we forget the akhira.

What was beautiful about Ramadan, and makes my heart ache that it left us so quickly, is how are hearts are at a constant Eman high. We were in 3ibadah, all the time. We had our Quran’s in our purses, all the time.

I don’t want to be like them, and i don’t want Ramadan gone to make me one of them:

“And be not like those who forgot Allah , so He made them forget themselves. Those are the defiantly disobedient.” al-Hashr 59:19

Its a beautiful feeling to be always in a state of taqwa, in a state of duaa, a state where you calculate the hours to go pray, where your sleeping schedule is messed up because you stay up all night finishing your khitmah and catching up on qiyaam. Its beautiful, and i miss it.

This ayah below gets me every time. The word fear here is taqwa in arabic. Have taqwa: be God conscious, be in a constant state of awareness that at any moment you shall return, and don’t think it won’t happen to you. Everything you do counts. Every deed, every salah, every ayah you read, every breathe you took, you will be accounted for what you have done. And the beautiful thing is, it will all be accounted for justify because Allah is the All Justice. He subhanahu wa ta3ala is the definition of Justice.

And fear (have taqwa) the Day when ye shall be brought back to Allah. Then shall every soul be paid what it earned, and none shall be dealt with unjustly. (Surat alBaqarah 281)

I know my thoughts are all over the place, they’re just bouncing around my head as ping pong balls, but this is a beautiful reflection I wanted to share:

“Every single night our soul is taken, and every single night the angel’s ask before bringing it back.. Ya Allah what about this one? , do You want to send it back? ..You want to pull the plug or should we keep the soul..and every night Allah gives permission to the angel to let him live one more time.”

— Nouman Ali Khan [from lecture: Gems from Surah Room]


Death is so near. And it should be something we think about. It shouldn’t cause us to be at a stage of phobia, where we don’t leave our houses. On the contrary, it should make us better people. People whom do only good, whom fear Allah in everything we do. We fear Allah with the money we bring home, with the food we eat, with the people we deal with. Fear Allah in everything. And its not that fear, that ugly fear. No, its actually quite beautiful. Its a fear that is combined with so much more. It has a deeper meaning, a deeper look. Its a fear that has hope in His Jannah, a fear that has love in it. Fear of Allah, because we love Him, and love to please Him subhanahu wa ta3ala.

Do good everyday, don’t ever pray salah just like that, be conscious and remember Allah before committing any sin, that maybe tonight your soul will not be returned. That tonight Allah may take your soul. Are you proud? Would you be okay if it was your last night? Are you ready?

No ones perfect. But thats okay. We can aim to be the best. Aim to stop our sins. Allah gave us a chance even though we constantly sin all year long, He allowed Ramadan to come to us. 30 nights of forgiveness, and one of them Laylatul Qadr. He gives us every moment to be a moment of tawbah, and this is because He, jalla wa 3ala, want’s His 3ebaad to die as Muslimeen.

Its never too late.

And after Ramadan has left us, try to be like them:

“And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous” Al-Imran 3:113


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