To Him we belong, and to Him we will return


For the past two months, my great aunt got severely sick. She got sick to a point where she was to be in bed care till the day she passed. My aunt lived at my grandparents house, so i really considered her my grandma. I would sit with her daily, reading, studying, sleeping, watching movies, anything, but beside her. We learnt to cope with her at my grandparents house. She brought such a peaceful vibe, even though she was dying in front of our eyes. 

I spent studying my finals beside her mostly. I felt as though the angels of heaven surrounded her in the room, and i would get so much done, in an unbelievable fast way. 

I learnt to love someone i never knew till a few years ago. Someone who only lived with my grandparents for two months. 

Somedays she would be beautiful, and full of spirit, she would hold a glass of tea alone and drink it. And other days… she would have many tubes stuck into her, and so lifeless…

I never understood the verses in the quran about how Allah grants ‘life’ after ‘death’ in the way i understood them during this time. Amto would be so tired, and we would sit around prepared that any moment it would all be over, then suddenly she would be full of life, and able to move her arms or try to talk to us. 

I remember how happy we would get. We would take videos, and clap.

But it got to a point where it was her time to go. She got so sick we had to take her to the ICU. I still won’t forget the way she laid lifeless in the bed. It was my first time to spend a day at the ICU. The room seemed so loud with all those beeping heart rates and what not… she was dying..

I went home that day, and everytime the phone rang we didn’t want to hear the news…

Jan 27 2014 was the last time i saw my aunt. The last time i got to see the most beautiful thing that ever happened to us. The women who was so quiet and so polite that changed all our lives. She came to Jordan to be cured, to the country where all her siblings and nieces and nephews lived. If she were to die in Palestine, she wouldn’t have had anyone..


No soul can ever die except with the permission of Allah, and at an appointed time. [3:145]

They say her janazah was as big as a wedding. People who haven’t been in touch for 30 years saw each other at her funeral. SubhanAllah the life she granted people after her death, the ties of kinship that were brought back was all because of her pure heart and good will.

I ask Allah to grant her jannatul firdous, to allow her to be at ease after all the pain she went through during her comma. I ask Allah to grant us people to take care of us if we become old and ill and lifeless. I ask Allah alwadood to allow the ones we love to be the closest to us on our death beds.


And it is also the fact that the kingdom of the heavens and the earth belongs to Him: he ordains life and death: and you have neither any helper nor protector to rescue yourself from Him. [9:116]

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