Category Archives: Change

By the Candlelight



I have a question for you, how has your khusho’ (devotion/tranquility) been lately in your prayers?

I feel like such an ‘adult’ when i see this but life as we get older gets so hectic and busy. When i used to hear people say “I have no time!!!” i never got it.. but now i do. But that sadly has personally taken a toll on me, and especially as my duty as a muslim and my relationship with Allah سبحانه وتعالى .

I know many of us have had phases in our lives where we suddenly feel so distant from Allah سبحانه وتعالى. We all want to be the best we can but then forget the smallest and most important of things that will get us where we want.

But then yesterday i got to a point where i just needed a break. I needed it forreal.

So before i went to bed i lit up the candles in my room, got into matching salah outfit, and turned off the lights. I decided to pray out loud and actually feel like this prayer is what will be my ticket to paradise.

I haven’t prayed such a beautiful prayer in such a long time.

Take time to remember Allah, and remember that tasting the sweetness of prayer is what keeps us strong. Try it. Pray in a different area, read a longer verse, turn off lights and light a candle.





In a couple minutes i turn 20 years old. Woah. InshaAllah… But seriously when did this happen!!

It really makes you look back at life. Its like every birthday i remember the year that passed .. Evaluate my life. Have i come closer to Allah or am i at the same point or has it decreased.

Every time Allah grants you another year yet alone a day its another chance to make tawabah, another chance to do what we havent been able too. Another chance at life.

Twenty years…



SubhanAllah, its been exactly 7 years ago today that i began wearing the hijab.

Alhamdulilah 😀 !!!

I was just thinking back to the first day i wore hijab, i remember my outfit. Pink pants, a white shirt with a big butterfly on it, and a pink and white hijab. (girly, eh?) SubhanAllah, and i remember how i went out that day and it was so hot, and i’m like woah, what did i get myself into.

But man… that was the best day of my life. You know why? Because this hijab.. has since that day been my mark in life. My identity. Me.

Being a hijabi well its not a walk in the park, but rather like a stroll down a beautiful lane, that may have a couple rocks you will stumble upon. When i first started wearing hijab, i kinda thought ‘okay, this is it, i made my parents happy, i’m obeying Allah, being a good muslimah… AND mama is going to buy me so many more new outfits. WOOHOO’

Lol, its nice to wear hijab from a young age, i mean at the right age (I was in grade 7) and you won’t know EXACTLY why you are wearing it, but what makes me smile is as I go on in life, and get into situations, read verses in the quran, listen to lectures, i just hold on to it more tightly, thanking Allah for allowing me to be blessed to be able to take on this beautiful thing and wear it.

Mama always says ‘You are what you wear’. And i once heard a quote saying ‘Style is a way to say who you are without speaking’… and it is so true! It means a whole lot that the way i drape my hijab over my head, gives me a whole identity, and because it is such a great responsibility, to be a carrier of this torch, insha’Allah, i ask Allah to allow me and everyone else to be the best muslimah out there 🙂

I really dislike how all of a sudden a wave of muslim women whom like to label themselves as feminists, have appeared to give their ‘personal’ opinion about why they think hijab isn’t wajib. Lol, its not what you think, it’s what is been written in the quran, for over than 1400 years.

I remember one of my profs telling us about hijab, and he was saying that for all these generations, people have been holding firmly to hijab, when the women at the prophets time heard the verse about covering up, they immediately without a hesitation pulled down their veils and covered their necks, but suddenly an uprise of women have come to for some odd reason, say that its not obligatory and it well holds them back from their freedom.

Yeah. NO.

May Allah guide them, really, i say that from the bottom of my heart, i really hope the women whom like to speak out against hijab, may Allah guide them to see the light the hijab has put in my life. Its been my guide for seven long years, and many more to come, insha’Allah ❤

Its beautiful, and i love it. It really is the most beautiful thing ever.

Hijab… well hijab gave me a push in life. Sometimes i was afraid to do things, but with my hijab, it just gave me a boost in my self esteem. I came to love my hijab more when i moved to the west because, not everyone wears hijab .. go figure :P. It made me shine, it toned down my outer beauty to allow others to appreciate something deeper, something within. To listen to me, to look at me as a human, and not to womanize and see my body as just a figure to pose beside a car.

It gave me the right and freedom that shorts and tanktops sure does not give a women.

It made me so much more beautiful. So much more confident. I became a real muslimah. I walk in the streets, and yes everyone knows i am a muslim. I feel as i wear my hijab as a walking flag of islam. And that is the biggest honor for me, to be representing the most beautiful thing sent to mankind.

Alhamdulilah, alhamdulilah, alhamdulilah. Every time i think about my hijab i want to make sujood alshukr for that Allah jalla wa 3ala has allowed me to be able to wear it, and made me shine in it.

I love it! 😀

My fave pictorials about hijab –





Please share your stories of how you came to wear hijab, or just what you love about it 🙂

I Made a Decision



Grade 12 has been way to hectic to get onto my blog sadly, but i just had to come on today to write up a post insha’Allah about what happened at school today.

I get into chem class, the usual, boring stuff on the board, whateves. A friend of mine comes up to me and says “— wants to convert to Islam.” Let’s say her name is Sally.

The hot tears streamed down my face as i couldn’t even like imagine it, i didn’t know what to do, what to say, how to react. I just wanted to get to the floor and just thank Allah subhanhu wa talaa.

Anyhoo, a good friend of mine, decided today, she wanted to accept islam. ALLAHU AKBAR. It was probably the best day of my life. Wallahi.

Sally, and my two other friends spent a good amount of time during our spare just crying out of happiness and excitement, it was finally happening. Alhamdulilah!

She began talking about how it just seemed so right, Islam fit her life, she’s been studying so much, and it just worked out. Islam was right, islam was what she needed to complete her life. She said she couldn’t wait another day, because we aren’t guaranteed any time, she needed to convert now.

I was just trying to wrap my head around this, its such a big thing to do in high school, its a big big thing to take upon. It’s a blessing, something Sally didn’t have to do, but did alhamdulilah. She decided this was going to be the best thing for her.

My (non-muslim) friend *Sally* quoted this in our convo:

God is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The parable of His light is as if there were a niche and within it a lamp: The lamp enclosed in glass: The glass as it were a brilliant star: Lit from a blessed tree, an olive, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is well-nigh luminous, though fire scarce touched it: Light upon Light! God doth guide whom He will to His light: God doth set forth parables for men: and God doth know all things.” [Surat AnNoor: 34]

She found the light, and it makes me so happy because she said that this light, this ayah was talking to her. Alhamdulilah! She gave me hope in humanity, she’s an inspiration to me, because she’s thinking of the bigger picture. She’s thinking for her children, she said that she has to do this for herself, and for the future.

What got to the me the most, and what i told her is, that sometimes we focus too much on other fellow ‘muslim’s’ who you think if you work so hard on them, they will change. And as much as you try, on that ONE person…nothing happens.

Then a friend of yours, from an english class, comes to you and says this, wallahi i just witnessed a miracle, and i’m so blessed to be there for her alhamdulilah!

Guidance is in the hands of Allah, He chooses whom He wills, because only He knows who will change! It puts life in perspective, sometimes, you just need to realize that it always ends up in His hands.

Make duaa’ for her, and for all of us!

Ready Set … Oops.


“You can make mistakes and not be a failure if you give it your full effort. Effort includes both preparation and execution. You are never a failure if you gave it your all, unless you blame others for your mistakes. When you place blame, you’re making excuses; when you’re making excuses, you can’t evaluate yourself; and without self-evaluation, failure is inevitable.”

I read this quote, and didn’t really know what to think.

As i approach my last year of high school, the stress comes down to every test i take, every mark i get, everything i add up on my resume, and everything that appears on my transcript. Overwhelming. I don’t know how people do it, i don’t know how they did it. I just know, i must do it.

I look at my piles of homework, and wish with all my heart, that something will just swoosh over them for them to be done. Over with. To see that beautiful A in a circle on my paper.


Reality, nope. Why isn’t it as easy as my past 14 years of school have been? The quote above says you make mistakes. We all make mistakes no…but do i have time? Its been two months, and in a short time i will begin applying to university, i have no time for mistakes.


I am working hard, and i feel like shouting that out to the world. I’m making and discovering new ways to study, new ways to get my marks up high, and get that 90 avg. It seems so close, yet so so far to grasp.

Sometimes we want to cry, but then again, in grade 12 you’ve got no other option then to study.

Chit Chat


Oh lets have a little chit chat:

“OMG. Her hair, totally not nice, who the heck does she think she is”

“Did you seeee that! She totally gave me a dirty look”

“I’m telling you, she hates me, she hates me!”

Uhh, what is up with girls these days. All they have time to do is talk, talk, gossip, spread rumors and talk! Why?

Insecurity, i believe, is the reason to all of this. To boost their ego, they must step on a couple to get up there. They themselves must hurt others.

Gossiping, its like this nasty contagious diesase. I talk to myself first and foremost, cuz i am not perfect, yepp, i’m human, we all fall into mistakes. I catch myself sometimes lost in a convo about how that person totally gave me a dirty look, or how she is dressed today is so shallow. But it happens.

What ticks me off, is when its a constant blabber. Something you find people feed off of, they MUST talk about others at any time of the day, it just is part of their daily lives.

Sometimes i wish i could hang out with guys, just the fact that during lunch at shcool they play football not have to sit with girls who have to talk about each other.

SIGH. The thing is, i don’t want to be rude to some friends, so i just go off to study, but at times i just feel soo sorry for people who cannot control their tounges, it just makes me sad that they cannot carry a normal conversation without mentioning someone else in a negative manner. Its something i feel like we all neeeed to work on, and if someone advices you a nice advice saying ‘tone it down’ don’t get mad, they just love you.

Sometimes i just wanna yell out ‘YOU ARE EATING SOMEONE ELSE’S FLESH!!” sighh may Allah guide us all.