Category Archives: Friendships

I Made a Decision

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Bismilah,

Grade 12 has been way to hectic to get onto my blog sadly, but i just had to come on today to write up a post insha’Allah about what happened at school today.

I get into chem class, the usual, boring stuff on the board, whateves. A friend of mine comes up to me and says “— wants to convert to Islam.” Let’s say her name is Sally.

The hot tears streamed down my face as i couldn’t even like imagine it, i didn’t know what to do, what to say, how to react. I just wanted to get to the floor and just thank Allah subhanhu wa talaa.

Anyhoo, a good friend of mine, decided today, she wanted to accept islam. ALLAHU AKBAR. It was probably the best day of my life. Wallahi.

Sally, and my two other friends spent a good amount of time during our spare just crying out of happiness and excitement, it was finally happening. Alhamdulilah!

She began talking about how it just seemed so right, Islam fit her life, she’s been studying so much, and it just worked out. Islam was right, islam was what she needed to complete her life. She said she couldn’t wait another day, because we aren’t guaranteed any time, she needed to convert now.

I was just trying to wrap my head around this, its such a big thing to do in high school, its a big big thing to take upon. It’s a blessing, something Sally didn’t have to do, but did alhamdulilah. She decided this was going to be the best thing for her.

My (non-muslim) friend *Sally* quoted this in our convo:

God is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The parable of His light is as if there were a niche and within it a lamp: The lamp enclosed in glass: The glass as it were a brilliant star: Lit from a blessed tree, an olive, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is well-nigh luminous, though fire scarce touched it: Light upon Light! God doth guide whom He will to His light: God doth set forth parables for men: and God doth know all things.” [Surat AnNoor: 34]

She found the light, and it makes me so happy because she said that this light, this ayah was talking to her. Alhamdulilah! She gave me hope in humanity, she’s an inspiration to me, because she’s thinking of the bigger picture. She’s thinking for her children, she said that she has to do this for herself, and for the future.

What got to the me the most, and what i told her is, that sometimes we focus too much on other fellow ‘muslim’s’ who you think if you work so hard on them, they will change. And as much as you try, on that ONE person…nothing happens.

Then a friend of yours, from an english class, comes to you and says this, wallahi i just witnessed a miracle, and i’m so blessed to be there for her alhamdulilah!

Guidance is in the hands of Allah, He chooses whom He wills, because only He knows who will change! It puts life in perspective, sometimes, you just need to realize that it always ends up in His hands.

Make duaa’ for her, and for all of us!

A Friend Once Said

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Friends have left different marks and effects on me. They do things, remind you of things, that you honestly thank Allah swt that He has blessed you and honestly it is a blessing.

For example;

Today, my friends and I were walking around, enjoying the summer breeze, when we passed an old lady. My friend smiled and said hi to the lady. The lady’s face lit up and subhanAllah, had a new look on her face.

We giggled at what she did but she subtley said:

“Honestly, that may be the only hello or smile they get all day. Why wouldn’t i be the one to give her it, and as a muslimah, and a hijabi, we got to do this stuff.”

*Silence* Even though she didn’t mean to shut us up like that, it really hit me. This certain friend of mine, has been there with me, through my ups and downs, and has taught me such lessons i will never forget.

Why would she smile at a random stranger, yeah i do that at times, in my neighborhood, where people know me, but that smile of hers, may have opened that lady’s heart.

The hadith of ‘a smile is a charity’, i felt it today. Sometimes we are need of a smile, its a gesture that means more than a smile movement of the lips, but can be weighed as a charity and when someone is given a charity, their happiness is at its utmost!

Another lesson i got today;

Life confuses us at times. We tend to hate and uff about everything that happens. After ranting off for a while, my friend said:

“so i just try to think that Allah doesnt test us with more than we can bear.”

Wow. Another moment of silence from my end. We tend to hate, and not realize the wisdom behind all the decree’s of Allah. I learnt from Surat Yusuf, that patience is the key. Honestly, its the key. But with patience you can complain, but to Allah! Its reward is so great, because it is the firs thing we *don’t* do. People wail and curse, then remember to have patience. But the key is to have patience, to accept and then you could *complain* in a certain manner.

Surat Yusuf 86. He said: “I only complain of my grief and sorrow to Allâh, and I know from Allâh that which you know not.

Look at what Yaqoob went through. He went blind out of all his grief of the loss of his son, but he had beautiful patience, and complained to Allah.

We forget Allah. We do. When we cry, we reach for a Kleenex and a cell phone to call a friend. What can your friend do. Yeah they can help you out, sort of, but why don’t we keep those tears and reach for the quran, the guidance sent from Allah.

I really want to start applying this myself inshaAllah.

But in the end, this post was to be about what friends say that may be a little quote or two words, but its the simplest of things that leave an affect on others lives. I ask Allah to allow me to keep all my great friends ❤

For this dunya or the next?

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Bismilah,

So i’ve had a rant i thought i would share, and it goes like this…

The definition of friendship in wikipedia is the cooperative and supportive relationship between people, or animals. [1] A friendship is give and take, respect and valuing one another. It is important to have mutal respect though, because having an unbalanced relationship, may sometimes cause to a tough end.

My friend once told me, if your friend is not allowing you to become more attached to Allah subhanahu wa tala or is denying you from doing certain aspects that bring you closer to Allah, then that friendship is useless.

A real friend is the one who together, you can strive to reach the straight path. A friend who reminds you of the hereafter and draws you closer to Allah. It’s time to put our priorities straight. I came to learn this the hard way subhanAllah, but when you realize you are too attached to something in this dunya, think of it, maybe your relationship with the Lord, Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala isn’t as strong.

A friend shared this duaa with me, that really opened my eyes:

O Allah! Grant me Your love, and the love of a person whom my loving him will benefit me draw closer to You. O Allah! Whatever You have granted me from what I love, make it a means of strength for me to use in the way You love. O Allah! Whatever love (of things) You have removed from me then Grant in its place the love (of things) that You love.

Friendship, and our relationship with Allah have a big influence on our life. We must learn how to balance out our deen (religion) and our relations with others. By no means am i trying to say, don’t create relationships. Relationships and friendships are essential to us, if in the end, they allow us to connect and draw us closer to Allah.

This life is a preparation for the next. We need to pile up those hasanat and our actions to get the utmost reward insha’Allah. There will be a day, where all those friends you had, your mother, your father, will mean nothing. Your own soul will be the worries on that day.

10. And no friend will ask of a friend,

11. Though they shall be made to see one another [(i.e. on the Day of Resurrection), there will be none but see his father, children and relatives, but he will neither speak to them nor will ask them for any help)], – the Mujrim, (criminal, sinner, disbeliever, etc.) would desire to ransom himself from the punishment of that Day by his children.

12. And his wife and his brother,

13. And his kindred who sheltered him,

14. And all that are in the earth, so that it might save him .

[Surat alMa’rij]

… except those who were amongst the righteous. Those are the ones who will be content, and shaded under Allah’s shade for loving someone else, for Allah’s sake. On this day, where there is no shade but his, where would you like to be?

It is time to re-evaluate the friendships you have created. Learn from the past so you can confirm the future.

Friendships are a beautiful thing. And i for one, can testify for this. When you meet a friend, who you just feel so comfortable with, as a person, and at the same time, feel like you are able to connect with Allah, then you have found a true treasure.

Ranking and priorities in the end, are your focus. Prioritize your time, and know what is most important. When you straighten things out with Allah subhanahu wa tala, seeking His forgiveness, then the rest comes at ease. When you can fully depend on Allah, then relationships become something to top it off with. The most essential point i am trying to put out there is, is never sacrifice your deen for anything or anyone. This goes back to the duaa’ i shared before, that loving someone, who helps you remember Allah, is the type of relationships you should aim to build insha’Allah.

Wallahu tala alam, if i have said something wrong, please correct me.

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship

Hey, Friend

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Bismilaah,

Today, as i waited for my father at the masjid after salah, two boys(8yrs old) were playing with the snow outside. Slowly, as the masjid began to empty, they came to the sisters side. I talked to them, telling them to close their jackets and only play with gloves on, we began to talk. As we talked for a good 10 mins…they ran out of stories.

I then took out my phone to see what time it was.

The two boys were talking to each other and this is how the convo went:

Boy1: hey i am bored…

Boy2: lets go upstairs, they are having a halaqah!

Boy1: no way man, i came here to play

Boy2: you would rather play then listen to the halaqah…

SubhanAllah!

This really made me think. Like, how this 8 year old boy was telling his friend, hey lets go listen to the lecture. Then the whole concept of you are on the religion of your friend came into mind.

Mind you, i had quite a long time to contemplate this issue 😉 lol

Anyhoo, it really got me thinking subhanAllah. This life, is basically a preperation for the next right? And in this life, we are bound to make friends right… but on that day do we want to be one of those who say:

10. And no friend will ask of a friend, [Surat alma’rij]

No. We don’t. Then i began thinking of school. And how high school is such critical years of life. If we don’t make good friends now, and stay upon the straight path, then that will end up being our life. Crocked.

This little boy, had the pure fitrah in him. He found that playing around in snow was a waste of time, and that it would be nice to go to the lecture. But his friend, was a bad influence (wallahu talaa alam) but said no lets go do this. The boy did what his friend said, and did not go to the lecture.

You know though, after learning that on the day of judgment how, no one will ask about the other, even the really intimate friends. There is an acception…

Except those who were righteous.

There will be 7 ppl who will be shaded under the shade of Allah subhanaahu wa talaa on the day where there is no shade but His, jalla jalaluhu. Will your friend allow you to be amongst them.

I realized, that there is such beauty in true (fillah) friendships. Sometimes you make those daily disposable friends, i guess you can call them. The ones you see at school, but don’t even know their last name…

Then i remember this quote:

To love each other for the sake of Allah is one of the most beautiful things Allah has given us. The salaf used to say: The sweetness of living is meeting our brothers. Umar used to miss Muadh and Abu Ubaidah radiallahu anhum so much that he used to twist and turn in bed until he met them in the morning. He used to say: Removal of all sadness is in meeting our brothers.

The companions cheirished the beauty of ‘fillah friendship’, its beacuse they truly understood it. Their friends, were not just friends, but companions. They did not allow them to go astray, or leave the dhikr of Allah. It is a blessing if you think about it.

This incident was a reminder to me, to reevaluate who i am hanging out with. Are my friends worth it? Well alhamdulilah, i think i did a great job choosing them ;). And again, friendship forever may exist, if you aim for jannah! 🙂 inshaAllah… one day chillin’.

And Allah knows best

IGIC: Show Them

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Do men think they will be left alone to say, “We believe,” and not be tested? [29:2]

Commitments in life cannot be made without a test. Whenever you go out of your way to reach a new stage in life, you are bound to run into difficulties. Sometimes you think that just because you have reached a new stage in your life, you will not be tested or go through any trials. But Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala is only testing you, to allow you to reach higher stages in jannah, insha’Allah. Sometimes you might not see the wisdom behind barriers that pop up in your life; sometimes you just have to accept.

What really happens when you start to wear hijab? What is it about this new step that changes your life? Hijab is not just a piece of fancy cloth wrapped neatly around your hair. Hijab is not the fact that your short-sleeve t-shirts end up in the back of your closet, and the baggy jeans start coming to the front. Hijab is a whole new contract, a new commitment, and like every other commitment in life, you have to take it seriously.

When I began to wear hijab some years ago, I really felt this “being tested” concept come into action. When I began wearing hijab, I remember my best friend telling me now that I wear it, I have to “act it.” I laughed at her when she said that, saying that the way I act is fine, and I need to change nothing except my wardrobe. But I was mistaken. Hijab is not just the act of getting new clothes – it’s a new life style.

To think of it now after four years, wearing hijab was the best thing that ever happened to me. I changed not only to become a person who respects others, but who also respects herself. As I grow older and more attached to Islam, I begin to understand this more and more.

An incident that is unforgettable for me occurred last summer overseas. There was a big dinner one of my relatives was throwing because my aunt and her husband had just come from America. My aunt’s husband has always been a dad-like figure to me. Growing up as their neighbor, I have always been close to him. Now that I had “grown’ up and hadn’t seen him for two years, something changed.

As all my cousins saw him, they raced to hug him, and I was in utter shock. He was a non-muhram, how could they possibly do that? Thoughts began to race in my head, as I did not know what to say. I was confused and bewildered. As my turn came to greet him, his smile widened as he called me by my childhood nickname, and his arms opened as he came to embrace me. At this point, I knew all the seminars I had been attending would not go to waste. I knew Islam had to be implemented, and I was not going to back out. So I nodded politely, and stepped back. I heard the snickering of my cousins and the puzzlement of the rest of my family. I remember at this point, I felt like I was doing something wrong, like I was the odd one out. I felt my eyes welling up with tears. Why was this all going wrong? I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought they would be proud, how come this is their reaction?

Then I snapped out of it, reminding myself that I would not do something to please others, while that action displeases my Lord. My grandfather at this point realized I was in an awkward position so he called me to come sit on his lap.

I knew my relatives all knew the reason I didn’t hug my aunt’s husband, I guess it was just hard for them to actually witness it being implemented. After that, I went off into another room, trying to hide my tears. I was embarrassed, but I did not know why – wasn’t I right?

This experience was not only a humbling for me, but it also allowed my family members to gain an exceptional respect towards me. I came back and sat in the large gathering and began to explain to them that I wear hijab now, and I am not about to displease Allah by violating an aspect of that hijab. At this point, I was a bit annoyed with my cousins, the ones who would not stop laughing at my “religiousness.” To calm my soul, I began to assure myself that my cousins simply did not know. And if they knew, maybe this was a reminder.

I learnt from this situation that hijab was the protection of my dignity. Not only did I learn more about the true “inner me,” but I also learnt how now, as I get older and life gets more serious, I have to find a way to balance out my deen and my relationships with others.

I considered that in this situation, I could have just hugged my aunt’s husband and then forgotten about the whole deal. I could have tried to ignore his presence and pretended I had not heard him call me. But all this could haves just did not seem to be reasonable. If I had done any of those other things, I would never have showed my family that just because its family, it does not mean deen does not have to be implemented. I take my deen seriously, and I wanted to make sure they all knew it, in a polite manner of course.

Strangely enough, this experience brought me closer to my cousins. I realized that they really just didn’t know. So I explained it to them, and saw their noses wrinkle in astonishment. I giggled to myself at their reactions – alhamdulillah, guidance is a blessing from Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala.

The best part is, a couple of days later, my aunt’s husband called me by my childhood nickname, and then paused –

“You don’t mind me calling you that right?” he asked.

I was happy to know that sticking with the truth through this “mini trial” of mine, not only was my aunt’s husband understanding, but he had come to respect and care about my opinion.

Source: here

Act It

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Bismilah,

I have been spending a lot of time with my cousins lately and realized something really important. Living in the west, to the people back at home, its like haram. They have this phobia of going ‘astray’ and being way to far from the deen and not ‘allowed’ to practice it as it is supposed to be practiced. But for me, i found that coming to the west, was the changing point of my life. I realized the beauty of islam, i realized you can still be cool and ‘religious’, i loved it. I really did. alhamduliah.

So many blessings surround us, for those who are able to attend the masjid, seminars, institutes, and love to learn about your deen, and the best part is, you can actually practice it. Living in the muslim countries, i feel like they are so restricted to this ‘practical’ deen. Here, they don’t have that ‘freedom’ we have in the west. They are surrounded by so much that it is actually hard to be the best of a muslim.

Also, they have no role models. The rasool alayhi asalam, was a living breathing model for the companions, thats why they had such amazing personalities. Their role models weren’t singers, or the smokers at 7/11. No. It wasn’t like that. They saw the beauty of islam, they learnt and preached about the love of Allah. Learnt about hell and paradise. Learnt about the best reward they can attain — seeing Allah azawajal’s face. The ultimate reward.

I find people, in the muslim countries, have such amazing opportunities, but truly don’t know to hold on to them. Lots of them huffaz, but don’t understand what they are saying — even if they ‘speak’ arabic. They don’t understand how you can be so into the deen and love it, and still be cool. Spending a lot of time, with a few of my cousins, I realized the blessing i live in, here in Canada. The blessing of knowing and being able to go and learn, and able to live islam the way it should be.

What i dislike most, are people who talk talk talk, and don’t walk the walk. Yes, it’s pet peeve. How can you preach words you don’t implement yourself?? I saw how lost people can be here, and of course it is the same in the west.

I wanted to convey to my cousins the beauty of the real islam. Salah, duaa, knowledge, quran, and so much more. But what i try to do is i try to act it out, in a more ‘attractive’ way since i am still in their age group. Simple things do it. Really they do. Like putting quran when going to sleep, like praying my sunnahs, randomly playing some lecture about salah and so on. I wanted to show them it in a practical way. To take them step by step, and together we can attain our destined goal. It took me baby steps, and still there is a long way to go. But i wasn’t planning on preaching them about hell, cuz really how long was that image going to last. But showing it to them, telling them, hey lets pray sunnahs, making it practical, i mean we all love practical right.

A big thing i find is some ‘religious’ peeps go out and say,

“Ohhh haraam you go to hell for music!!”

“Ohh haram you wear pants and no abaya”

“Ohhh haraaam this and that.”

A lot of my relatives then come to me and say, “Dania, tell them to wear abayas and not to listen to music, come on you’re a good girl.”

Hmm am i really going to tell them that? No. If someone came up to me back when i didn’t know much, and tell me what you are wearing is haram and sorry you are going to hell, i would probably laugh and tell them they are too religious for their own good.

But when my relatives told me this, i felt like if no one is able to convey this message to my cousins, and they love me and respect me, then i guess it is my duty. All the things the ‘elders’ told me to talk to my cousins about, i implemented them. alhamduliah.

Now as i go to bed, my cousin gets up to pray… “Dania, how many sunnahs do i pray before ishaa?”

SubhanAllah i felt like crying. Finally, what i wanted to reach them got there. My other cousin, sitting on the computer, downloading quran. Alhamdulilah. My other relative, i hear her voice echoing in the house, as she recites surat alkahf. I even remember one them so excited, “DANIA, i downloaded quran on my iPOD!!” mashaAllah 🙂

Making me realize and understand this ayah:

Then, after that, your hearts were hardened and became as stones or even worse in hardness. And indeed, there are stones out of which rivers gush forth, and indeed, there are of them (stones) which split asunder so that water flows from them, and indeed, there are of them (stones) which fall down for fear of Allâh. And Allâh is not unaware of what you do.

[surat alBaqarah: 74]

Did the prophet ever give up. No. He always had hope. Even if their hearts were rocks, a river can always break through it. He denied Jibreel alayhi asalam to demolish a nation, just thinking that one of their offsprings will believe in the message. So how can we give up so easily. There is always hope.

I found this experience so humbling to my soul. I felt and really appreciated the blessing i live in. A blessing, i really never thought of. For me to be able to benefit my cousins was only a blessing from Allah. To allow me to reach islam, and love it, is a blessing. Allowing me to enjoy my life, as a ‘good’ muslim, is such a blessing alhamduliah. I cry to see the lost ones out there…. but inshaAllah my next target are those ones :P. alhamduliah.

SubhanAllah, it really is the way we act, and that is exactly how the Prophet did it. He didn’t yell nor hit, he didn’t force and make a burden upon his people. How could they have loved him? How could of leaders accept islam, if it wasn’t through his character, and his actions. If the prophet was a walking quran, its his manners and adaab that attracted people to this deen. How can we make someone love Islam, if we don’t act the way we are meant to be.

I mean this does go back to your relatives but also to everyone out there. You can’t be two faced. With true manners, you can attract anyone to what islam is truly about.

Wallahu tala alam

<3

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To love each other for the sake of Allah is one of the most beautiful things Allah has given us. The salaf used to say: The sweetness of living is meeting our brothers. Umar used to miss Muadh and Abu Ubaidah radiallahu anhum so much that he used to twist and turn in bed until he met them in the morning. He used to say: Removal of all sadness is in meeting our brothers.